Wanted: Idiot Producer

Idiot producer wanted to produce low budget feature. Producer should have little to no experience producing major feature films. Low cost and high efficiency are the name of the game here, so if you have any qualms about putting the thumbscrews to a crew please don't apply.

-- via Art Adams.

Art Adams is a kickass DoP based in SF* who is a regular contributor on CML. He's a really nice guy [he's provided me with plenty of advice], who does does really nice soft-light portrait work and, even more importantly, also has a great sense of humour, probably because he watches British comedy.

After reading one to many calls/posts from "producers" (I use the term loosely) looking for crew to work for SFA he decided to make his own retaliatory post on Craiglist. The responses are highly amusing - particularly for those who have any experience on low budget film sets.

Its well worth a read and gives a kind of beautiful insight into the shitness of trying to crack the indie scene. I don't think the people who responded to his posts are actually idiots, they're just trying to "give it a go" (as lawyers say). I respect how hard that is, cause I'm still there. FWIW, Art's article on "How to Break Into Cinematography" is also a fun and insightful read.

NB: Art doesn't think the producers he actually works for are idiots. There is a world of difference between those who actually are producers (ie actually get stuff made on a regular basis and, gasp, make a living from it) and those who think they are (ie don't get stuff made or, if they do, only by cheating everyone).

It kind of reminds me of a post I saw somewhere about a wedding videographer who was trying to make his first feature by SELLING the parts in the film. I kid you not. It got me, jokingly, wondering if I could auction the parts in a film on eBay and use the money to hire a good lead (like Tony Martin) and fund the film. The scary thing is I'm sure there would be some actors who'd give it a go and I could actually make a film that way.

*I mention SF because I ran into a woman at the Canon service centre yesterday who used to be a production co-ordinator and facilities manager in SF. She said that the Australia film industry suffers the same problems as the SF film industry. I thought it was an interesting comment.

P.S. Thanks for e-mailing me the link, Art.